The Day Kevin Killed 10000 Vegans

Or One Free Ad for Kevins Mongolian-Style Beef Dinner

2 min readJul 19, 2023
If I were to make an ad for Kevin's delicious Mongolian Style Beef Dinner, this is what I would say.

Hi Kevin,

Look, you had me at Yurts, but the reality is,but your dish should come with a warning label.

If a dish wrapped in plastic, can turn a vegan, a disgruntled spouse, and a non eating dog into ravenous FANS- over night, then you must be doing something ridiculously good.

Kevin’s Mongolian Grass Fed Beef dinner, is very confusing -to say the least, but from this post vegan apocolyse that I have emerged

from, I have to say, it is pretty fantastic.

For you vegans out there, who are dealing with low protein brain, and assumed the “Grass Fed” part meant that it was vegan beef made from grass, or plants.

-surprise! IT DOES NOT.



If it is already too late, and you have already taken your first bite of Kevins Mongolian Grass Fed Masterpiece, then I am truly sorry, as I’m sure you were a good vegan while it lasted.. Perhaps the world and Greta, will have a nice eulogy for you,

-because you blew it.

But if you are Bi vegan/beef curious- take this as a warning before you tip your tongue into this pleasure plate for your pallete.

Because with one taste in your mouth, your tastebuds will melt, and , your vegan side, will die. Because it is that yummy.

At least that was my experience Kevin.

Yes, I think you broke this vegan. Even though, I managed to I withstand Chicken N Biscuits crackers, (which, by the way i had never heard of prior to being vegan, yet they have been around apparently for decades!) Along with Krispie Kreme donuts that decided to invade the city 2 months after I went vegan, along with managing to OnLY consume a salad while having dinner at the best Georgian restaurant in the land, surrounded by cheesy bready goodness that arrived with every borscht and Cornish hen and plum sauce ordered.

Yes all of those tantalizing delights, were avoided and skirted, keeping this vegan still safely situated, and satiated in their vegan plether wagon.

That is, til Kevin decided to take a high east detour, to Mongolia.

Kevin’s Mongolian grass fed beef dinner.

So frickin confusing.

Not vegan. Not sorry. just gud.

Beef made from vegan cows.

If your gonna break. Break on Mongolian beef

Find it in the fridge of your nearest health food store, just above the vegan food to confuse you even more.

The best food for your super picky dog, and spouse




Nomadic procrastinator suffering from run-on sentences-caught btwn a 9 -5; an exp passport; a 30 yr mtg;+a dog who has sep. anxiety when no oxford comma is used