If You Work At a Deli, You Need to Read This.

7 min readJul 19

If you work at McDonalds, you do not need to read this -because YOU already know this.

Even AI can make a sandwich with lined up bread for crying out loud.

How to MAKE a Frickin Sandwich.

Look, I know, I know, you are only working here to pay off that new switch or a trip to Europe or whatever. But will you please take on a little dignity for YOURSELF, learn how to make a pleasing looking sandwich.

It isn’t a difficult sandwich, we, your customers, can even make it. But the reason we have, on this day, chosen NOT to, is because we are far from home and have to go back to work. -yet we ARE starving.

And while there are other platters that we could get, like salad with potatoes, salmon and asparagus, we feel those take too much, as you really need a table, a fork, and knife for that. And at the moment, a sandwich would be great- bc we can grab WITH ONE HAND, devour it in maybe 4 bites- like a normal Tyranasaurus, easily, while on our way back to work, or at worst, as soon as we sit back down at work. A sandwich MAKES MUCH MORE SENSE for now, and saves time. -based on :

1.The time we have to spend eating

2.The amount of simplicity we need for each bite

3.And the lack of really any sit down area, or apparatuses available to us, when we are commuting between jobs in the middle of the city.

HENCE, a SANDWICH, that has been glued well together by some mozzarella and a panini machine,


Except for when you havent factored in the possibility, that the human, behind the counter, whom someone hired to make the sandwiches,

actually has no idea how to make a sandwich.

While a thought briefly enters your mind teetering on that fear, -because you are clearly a condescending douche, you quickly toss such an absurd doubt to the side, as the human behind the counter reassures you, that the sandwiches themselves,


Oh! great! You think to yourself, shaming your nitpicking anal mind,

cool ..problem solved! phew!” thinks your brain.


Nomadic procrastinator suffering from run-on sentences-caught btwn a 9 -5; an exp passport; a 30 yr mtg;+a dog who has sep. anxiety when no oxford comma is used