13 Things That I Hate.
A bakers dozen if you will, - for those more optimistically inclined. I figure, 13 is a good number to have for this subject. -That is, if we don’t look too closely at the origins of the unlucky 13.- (because turns out, 13 is not unlucky, -but that is a story for another time, and for a more positive missive.)
Also quite possible, as I am just now noticing,
that he may have also been annoyed,
with me. :/
Photo by zoomplanet.
In A World,
where we strive- or because we are forced- to look on the bright side of things, it is occasionally fun to spout off shit that we just really don’t like.
So here are a few of my least favorite things:
1. Smoothie Blunders.
Pouring a smoothie into a glass and it arrives at the rim perfectly, and then something happens, and it causes a mini tsunami over the side of the perfectly dry rimmed vessel, causing you to have to then, reach for a towel, paper or otherwise, pick up the now, soiled vessel with your bare clean hand, making your palm slimy wet with smoothie, as you try to wipe the glass side, and table surface down with the so called towel you grabbed which usually, at this point you are realizing that you didn’t grab enough, and you’re just making everything more wet, -until things are finally back to their pristine state without spilling any more.
I hate that.
2. Sleep Forgetfullness.
Getting into a nice, well-made bed in the evening after doing everything you needed to do that day. That wonderful feeling of relief that your body gives off because it knows it gets to shut down for the next 6 hours before it has to wake up the next day and put out the next 20 fires that await you. Ahh… the bliss! ….
And then you realize you left your phone in the other room, and now have to break thru your pristine bed-snuggle to get up, and get your phone,- making the next back-into-bed, just lame, because everything is now disheveled and loose, ruining the feeling of clean sheets and the sigh of relief- because now your body, and system, until it falls asleep, is just on edge -waiting to remember the next thing that you forgot to do.
I frickin hate that.
3. Looking at an Unmade Bed.
(This is, probably now, needless to say), but it is definitely on my hate list. My spouse knows this, and one time, before we were going away and we had hired someone to take care of Fish, My spouse in the out the door scramble, was the last one in the house, so I asked them to at least please just make the bed or at least throw the duvet over the mattress. They were like “I know, I know of course I will!”
When we got back, I was the first in the bedroom, and I sighed with relief seeing that yes, my spouse had put the duvet on the bed making it look made. I noticed one of the pillows were under the duvet looking as if the bed was a boa constricter that had just finished off a gazelle but hadnt digested it yet. Naturally, I opened the duvets gullet to realize that my darling spouse had thrown all of their clean socks and underdwear in the bed under the duvet in a dishevled mess. lol -The horror.
4. Shower Slaps.
Getting out of the shower, grabbing a fresh dry towel, and then realizing you didn’t do everything you needed to do in the shower, resulting in you bitch-slapping yourself as you try to decide if it is worth — getting back in there, and coming out to a damp towel, or just sucking it up, and moving on to phase 3 of the nightly routine, ie: just get in bed stupid.
Knowing full well, that because of your pristine bed issues, you are going to have to get back in that shower and deal afterwards with damp towel consequeses . Arghhhh.
5. Rain.
While I love a rainstorm. It never seems to happen when I’m holding an umbrella. I look at the weather, -no rain for 4 hours —so cool! no umbrella needed. I get outside no rain.
Then 5 minutes later, the heavens open.
6. Chicken.
Raw chicken is just gross. I don’t know what human decided that chicken was a great meal, but the physicality of raw chicken and its resemblance to a small new born human, super freaks me out. I dont care if Im looking at a leg, a breast, or an entire chicken. On top of this Jonathan Swift issue, the salmonella fear, causes me to wash my hands, and wipe down the counter each about 400 times if I’m cooking a chicken dinner. Making a simple chicken dinner take 7 hours to make. Frickin nightmare.
7. Clickbait
I hate clickbait. Click bait writers should all just be shot. We are all on this planet for a finite time, so for the love of humanity dont waste ours with a ridiculous article that tells us nothing. (All of u clickbait defenders who are saying: well what-about-this-stupid-article?- I merely say that a hate list provides you a relief, and a small sense of sanity in our must-be-grateful-for-what-we-have- world. and while we ARE( greatful that is), it is sometimes nice to be reminded that we are all just dumb humans lol. Click bait traits do NOT do that.)
8. Lying Toothpastes
I hate toothpastes that promise to whiten teeth, but do not. I have tried them all, and not one of them have ever made a tiny whitening difference in my choppers.( Ok possibly the Crest Glamourous whitening, a teeny bit, but based on what is promised? no. ) Crest Charcoal, Radiant and Icy whatever -all suck . Aquafresh, Hello and Colgate Optics? All zero. And now, there is some purple tiktok brand that people seem to be claiming works, but I have just lost faith for all of the wolf callings of fake marketing.
Look, Im not calling for a communist regime, but It would be great if we could have some kind of:
The FDA 100 percent verifies that the claims on this brand are valid and true.
It would eliminate the mind numbing choices we try to logically make now when we go to the drugstore to find something, based on our zero scientific knowledge.
It used to be -oh! a cough?
Robutussin.
or if you were a baby-
Dimetapp.
PAIN? -
easy, Aspirin.
Now, my spouse has a cough, I literally have no idea what to grab because I’ve been so long out of the mainstream media- and that what-are-the-kids doing-nowadays mindset, that instead, I just buy 5 different brands, and hope something works. Lol
9. Vacations That Aren’t Vacations
Or to be more precise, vacations with family. (Not the family who live under our current roof, but rather, the family who’s roof I used to live under, and the other inhabitants of that clan, their off-spring and other new appendages).
Look, I love family, and as crazy as my family is, I love them too. But I don’t like vacations together, because it isn’t a vacation, that’s all.
But I have to USE my vacation days to spend time with them.
Yet, (and actually, quite similar to our current budgeting state in our own household: (ie: if I spend 200dollars somewhere, my spouse has also spent 200 dollars somewhere, so budgeting to only spend 1k a week, basically is more like- please try to spend less than 500, bc your other half is matching you dollar to dollar lol)
What I mean is, is that I need a vacation after every family vacation -just to recover. The problem is, we dont have the time or money or vacation time to take another vacation just with ourselves, or our friends alone, so that we can do, what one is supposed to do on a vacation
- decompress!
The last family vacation we went on was awesome, and just as stressful as every other one. Every family has weird unspoken rules, that are just ingrained amongst those in-the-know of how things are supposed to be. And each time a new member is somewhat -(but never fully,) indoctrinated into the circle, the legitimacies and questions, hurt and stresses about those rules, get magnified, and it’s so exhausting.
I hate it.
10. Milk Evaporation
Nothing worse than a craving for cereal, but you have no more milk, or milk-like substances anywhere in your home. Yes, out of desperation, I have, more than once, made myself a bowl of cereal out of desperation, submerging the corn filled poisoned cubes or circles, into yes, water.
so gross.
11. The Broken Promises of Inanimate Objects
Running out of anything that used to be automatically replenished in your home when you were a kid, by fairies, or possibly aliens.
Things like:
toothpaste,
toiletpaper,
soap,
milk,
coffee
bread,
eggs
or peanut butter..
You never asked or wondered because those things were always just there, like the sky, or the sun.
Maybe you just assumed they came with the house. But then again, there was never any out of the ordinary issue causing you to wonder — From whence did those things come pray tell!?
I mean no house nowadays, is made with auto replenishing !
Whatever new material they are using on homes these days, (probably the same crap thing that they are using on toothpastes no doubt), makes it such a pain in the ass to manage your home, and simply impossible, to keep your house in order!
Instead, now you have to go and get it YOURSELF!
The worst part of it is, when you go to the store to get some soda, vegan Mongolian beef, or chips, and realize -not until you get home, that you are out of — pick anything from the list above.
Still, I will pay respect where respect and praise are do:
Yes, All hail to our savior: Amazon. 😑
Thank you for reading! Please point out anything that I may have left out. But then, that would make it possibly 14 things. -which would be weird because that would just throw off the concept.. so if you could simply be mindful,
and list enough to make it at least 29 things —
Yes that would be preferable.
